


Bring back my Sunshine

by Mothman_plays_the_drums



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Downs, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sani just tries to cope, Wooyoung sucks in this one ngl, dealing with cheating, he does awful shit, no really it's BAD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:01:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27340903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothman_plays_the_drums/pseuds/Mothman_plays_the_drums
Summary: San isn't okay. He can't think right, he cant breathe right, and even worse, he can't bring himself to cry.
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Kudos: 105





	Bring back my Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeeeyyy first Yunsan fic I've ever written!!! I'm so sorry!!! Thanks for reading this, let me know if you enjoy it, and come yell at me on twitter @ thestarsnmars !!!

Post-breakup, San recognizes all the signs. The sudden unavailability, the odd noises that had accompanied his recent phone calls, this friend that Wooyoung never wanted to talk about... San should've known. 

He should've been able to handle the way he was broken up with better than he did, but god, didn't it seem cruel? To break up with a person by calling them while you're getting fucked? It hurt. San was hurt. And he hasn't been un-hurt in the past few days. 

Still, somehow, he can't bring himself to crumble. Somehow, after he hung up, he couldn't cry, he couldn't do anything but go numb. To lay in bed and to let his mind wander and to wonder, where did he go wrong? What did he do to deserve that? Did he treat Wooyoung wrong?

He decided, that night, that he did. He must've, Wooyoung is so sweet, so loyal, there's no way he would've cheated on San if he hadn't done anything wrong. 

Still, this thought couldn't bring him to tears, it only numbed him even more, to a stifling point, to where his breath was barely there, shallow and quiet and leaving his chest hurting. That was how he spent that night.

The second night was anger. 

He cheated. Wooyoung cheated over and over knowing that it could hurt San. He knew what he was doing when he called San to break up with him.

San felt disgusted. At Wooyoung for putting him through that? At himself for falling for it? At the other man for shattering this perfect illusion San created? 

He wanted answers. He didn't think about it. He drove over to Wooyoung's place. He shouldn't have. Oh, how he knows he shouldn't have! He was just... He couldn't handle it. He needed closure, he needed to look Wooyoung in the eye and demand and answer. Why wasn't he enough? What did he do so wrong? Why was he the one looking and sounding pathetic and hurt when he's trying so hard to sound as angry as he feels? And why did Wooyoung seem so... Unaffected?

Evidently, Wooyoung didn't have any answers either. San left. 

He didn't cry that night either.

The third night, San texted Wooyoung. He must've been a dick last night, he shouldn't have come to Wooyoung, he had to apologise, make it right. He begged. He didn't know for what. 

Answers didn't come that night, either. 

Wooyoung cried, he apologized, and sobbed, and told San he knew it was wrong. For a single minute, hearing Wooyoung in so much pain and agony over what he'd done made San tear up. 

But, then he remembered what Wooyoung had done. His face scrunched up, he went cold, and he hung up the phone. The numbness took over again, and all the questions and solutions came back. He wished he could just break down. He wished his body would let him. 

Tonight, it hurts. It hurts all over, in every place Wooyoung had ever touched him. It hurts in his arms, and his legs, and his stomach, and his heart. His chest keeps seizing, or maybe he's being dramatic. 

He hasn't answered his friends in days. 

Yunho has been on top of him, texting every day, calling to know if he's okay. He must've heard from somewhere that Wooyoung and San broke up. 

Yunho's voicemails are sweet, and San's throat feels like it's closing up. 

"...Just- just know, that whatever you're feeling right now, you don't have to go through it alone. I'm only a call away, and I'm ready to bring over blankets and Ice cream... Be safe, I love you, and the rest of us love you, and we're not gonna leave until you ask us to." 

This time, San wills himself not to cry. He calls Yunho, shoving down the constricting in his throat to push out a conversation. 

"Hey, Sani," Yunho's voice is soft. It almost breaks the dam. There's pity and hurt in his tone, San should feel pathetic.

"Can- can you come over, please?" San stutters, "I need someone. Please, please, I need it right now." San once again sounds desperate, except this time his voice is nasally and wet, strained like it's taking him all the self-control he has not to burst into tears. 

Yunho's alarmed when he next replies, "yeah! Yeah, of course, I'm on my way now. Just hang on, sunshine, I'll be there." 

San sets the phone down. It's crashing down. He can't be numb anymore. Like waves, his mind is finally letting go of all he's felt. He can't breathe, he doesn't want to think this much. Not with the feelings attached. Why isn't he good enough? Why is he a bad boyfriend? Did he deserve it? 

Yunho knocks on the door 45 minutes after their call. San almost can't get up to get it. He does, though. Shaky legs carry him to the door and he opens it to a friendly face, the first he's seen in days. 

Yunho opens his arms (they have three target bags hanging off of them, two full of different blankets, one carrying two giant containers of ice cream,) San throws his arms Around Yunho's neck, and finally the dam breaks. The pain pours into the shaking of his body as he wails into his friend's shoulder, cries, goes numb and then un-numb, and then numb all over again. 

Yunho squeezes him tight. 

Yunho softly walks the two of them back, and shuts the apartment door. 

San can feel the ice cream shift when a hand pets his hair, San cries harder. 

Yunho soothes the ache of his body. 

San eventually detaches from him, but that doesn't mean he's done. He sobs, asking Yunho everything he's been asking himself since it happened. 

"Wh-what did I do wrong?" San's voice is so hoarse, and breaky, and he's cracking all over the place. "Why wasn't I a good boyfriend? Why- what did I- how did I deserve that? How did I hurt Wooyoung to- to make him wanna... To make him wanna do that?" 

Yunho runs his his thumbs under San's eyes, and he asks what may be a very stupid question. "What did he do?" 

San erupts again, with that unnamed, cloying, painful emotion and for a few minutes he can't even speak. 

"H-he- he cheated. I think multiple times, with the same- with the same p-person," sweet little San mumbles, his arms crossed over his chest, "he called on Tuesday, and he- fuck-" 

Yunho nods. That's the gist he'd gotten from Seonghwa. Wooyoung cheated, and then he did something worse. "Take your time, Sani, I'll be here all night," the older whispers. 

"He.. called me, and he sounded weird- he had sounded like that a couple weeks ago, when I wanted to talk- I guess that's just what he sounds like- like, when he's getting his brains fucked out." 

San pretends not to notice his comfort's audible gasp. 

"He called, and he- he broke up with me, moaning and whining," the anger hits him again, his fists curl into Yunho's turtleneck, "like it was hot that I could hear. He used my full- my full fucking name- he knows I hate that! And he- he told me he was breaking up with me- didn't even have the decency to hang up- he let me sit there, shocked, listening to- to fucking whoever fucking him- he wanted me to hear it! He- he wanted me to hurt!" 

"Oh my god..." Yunho sighed. That's more than shocking. That's... He can't even imagine how San must've felt. "You didn't deserve that, Sani.. that's so, so beyond fucked." 

"He- he could've just told me I wasn't good enough. Could've said I didn't ha-" 

"Hey! No!" Yunho interrupts, wrapping up San in a hug again. "Don't you dare say you weren't enough. Do you even know how good to him you were? How often you asked how he felt about the relationship? How much you loved and cared for him? You were too fucking good for him. You deserve leagues better than that fucking bullshit." 

The younger goes quiet, save for sniffles and huffs. "Do you mean it?" He asks, breathily, obviously losing his voice.

"Definitely. No doubt. Why do you think I call you sunshine?" 

"Because you have cute nicknames for everybody." 

Yunho gives an amused huff at that. "Okay, maybe," he grumbles, "but your nickname is because you can always brighten anyone's day. Never met a kinder, more caring, loving individual. You get that?" 

San nods, his eyes well up with tears again, he may quietly sob with his face sandwiched between Yunho's palms, but that's neither here nor there.

They end up on the couch, watching movies, San laying all but on top of Yunho, the absolute picture of comfort. 

San passes out a quarter into his favorite movie. Yunho thinks that's okay.

Yunho holds him through it. San whimpers, an hour into his nap, little tears escape his closed eyes, and it pains Yunho. It upsets him, and what's more? It infuriates him. To think that anyone would ever do something cruel, so dehumanizing, humiliating...

Yunho squeezes him tight and mumbles his comfort into San's ear. The whimpering dies down. 

After another couple of hours of Yunho mindlessly watching anything on San's netflix, the smaller stirs, makes little grunts as he curls up on Yunho. 

He hums, nuzzling into his friend's neck, and he grunts, "what's on?" 

"Morning," Yunho jokes.

"Is it?" 

"No, you only slept a few hours." 

"Hmm." 

Yunho chances a kiss to the top of San' head and something becomes incredibly obvious. "When was the last time you showered?" He quips. There's snark in his tone. San basks in the normalcy. "You're a little stinky." 

San gives Yunho a little smile, but snuggles into him even more. "Been a few days. Should I?" 

"Mhm, definitely. Seonghwa needs me to call him anyway." 

The silence between the two of them is thick. Then San asks, "is it about...?" 

"He just wants an update on how you're doing, Sani," Yunho replies. It's honest. Mostly. 

"Hmm.. mkay. 'm gonna go take a shower. Get some pajamas." 

Yunho smiles, that big bright puppy smile that would make anyone glow. "Sounds good."

~~~

"So? How is he?" 

"Honestly?" Yunho is already fuming. Absolutely fucking livid. "Considering what that motherfucker put him through? Absolutely amazing." 

"Woah, woah, Yuns, hold up, remember Wooyoung is our friend too," Seonghwa's taken aback by the sudden hostility considering it's coming from the human embodiment of a golden retriever.

"Oh, not after what I just found out. Not with what I just witnessed with Sani. No fucking friend of mine does that." 

"What did he even do?" 

"He fuckin called-" Yunho pauses, takes a breath, and lowers his voice when he gets loud enough that he can't hear San's music in the bathroom, "that piece of shit called him. As he was getting fucked by some other man, and used his full fucking name as he broke up with San between whimpers and moans, like a whor-"

Seonghwa interrupts him, "holy shit. Holy... Holy shit, oh my god, that's..." 

"Fucking disgusting!" 

"I can't even... I'm so shocked," Seonghwa says, but it sounds more like a question, as if he's questioning his entire life. "That's... So much to unpack." 

"And! Get this, he'd done it before." 

"Oh my god." 

"Mother. Fucker." 

"That's... I don't even think I can defend that, that's bad." 

"I'd think you less of a person if you did, Hwa." Yunho's anger dissipates into pure sadness, heartbroken for the boy in the shower. "You should've heard him when I came over.. it sounded like someone had died. Our Sani is hurting so... So much." 

"Should I come over?" 

Yunho sighs. "I think... He looked satisfied when he woke up, I had him take a shower. I think... I think we shouldn't press it right now. Let him settle in his comfort zone, and then we can figure it out." 

"Alright. I think I'm gonna talk to Wooyoung, try and find out what the fuck he was thinking."

"If you do, tell him he better not even think about coming here. I won't be as nice as you will."

"I know, Yuns. Thank you for taking care of San. Keep me updated?" 

"Of course." 

When San meanders out of the bathroom, hair and eyes and shirt sleeves wet, Yunho is off of the phone, making tteokbokki in the kitchen. He hurts when he sees San, but doesn't comment, instead opening his arm to San, who willingly slumps into it. 

San's chest spasms with his sniffles and cries. Yunho feels it against his side as he cooks, whispering small praises and reassurances into his ear. 

Yunho stays with him that night, reminding him just how much he deserves the world, keeping him distracted from the absolute monstrosity San had to deal with. It's worth it to take the weekend off, when it's bringing his sunshine back.


End file.
